Today our landlord came to remove this disgusting, mold-covered window unit from the window directly next to where David's head rests each night during sleep. We've never used the unit, and I figured it was inoperable, given the general disrepair of the thing. Plus, David has had too many sinus infections for the thing to be benign. Since we have a newborn coming home with us in two weeks, and will be sleeping in our room with us for a while, we pushed the landlord to remove the grody window unit pronto. He's going on vacation in the Southern Rockies for two weeks, leaving Thursday, and we really wanted him to get it out before he leaves.
So he calls and says, "I'm just about mad enough to come take out a window unit. Is this a convenient time?"
It's Clara's bath and bedtime, but I say "yes."
"I'll be up in 5 to 10 minutes," he says. In our landlord time that means anywhere between 20 minutes to 20 days.
I move the bed and get the area ready for him to remove the unit from the window. He finally arrives after 25 minutes. "I'm gonna leave in that other unit on the other side of the house, in case the compressor breaks and you need to seek refuge."
In case the compressor breaks?!?!
"Don't say that, Bob," I say.
"I just hope it doesn't," he says.
He's just trying to scare me, because supposedly I scare him. Right? Now I'm all stressed that the fucking air conditioner is going to break while he's high up in the Rocky Mountains. While we have a newborn in the house.
"Where is that unit gonna be stored, in case the compressor does break while you're gone."
"This thing is gone, Missy. If it breaks, you'll have to go to the other room."
"It's not gonna break," I say.
"I sure hope not."
Does he know something I don't know? Is the warranty expired? Doesn't he sound like a really nice guy?
The air-conditioner is not going to break while he's gone. But in case it does, I made him give me the name of the company that will come out and fix it. Jason McCann services; something like that.
"These people get greedy," he says.
If the air-conditioner breaks while he's gone, I don't care how much they tell me it's gonna cost to repair it; you can be sure I'll give them the go-ahead.