Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Once Upon A Time

Once upon a time, David and I could sit around for hours in the evening, drink wine and talk to one another about enjoyable things. We would talk about things like ART and POETRY and THEATER and lalalalalalaliiiii --things other than our children, our beautiful, stimulating children.

The love we have for them is more than we know what to do with, and this extra love can sometimes feel like a burden because there is so much a person wants to do in life. So much it seems like it might be better to travel light. Children add heaviness, and well....

Well, it's a heaviness that's worth it.

One thing I've learned for certain from becoming a parent, and this can apply to everyone, not only other parents: don't work so hard to avoid the cliché. In fact, and after 20 years of experience of being an adult, I've come to realize that they're all true -- the clichés -- so it becomes a waste of time to try to invent a new feeling. Everything that one can feel has indeed been felt before. Therefore, spend time FEELING the feelings, rather than thinking about the feelings, because finally -- thanks to clichés -- someone has already done the thinking for you. And thinking is exhausting.

Here are some clichés that drive home familiar feelings that I wish I hadn't spent time thinking about because I would eventually experience them in person anyway: Children completely change your life; shit happens: all you need is love; old age is not for sissies; ya da da da da.

The best thing David and I have done together is to create our family, brought our two children into the world. That is a certain. It's also the downright scariest thing we've ever done together. But the love that comes with this awesome reality is not to be underestimated. It's a big love, a larger reality, the impossible made possible: A real, live storybook situation.

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